Carol’s Magic Tote

By Wayne Wallace

 

Chapter 1

I glanced at the clock, 10:45, and just enough time to get to Chili’s by 11:00.  I tossed the personnel folder that I had been going over aside, grabbed my cars keys and headed out of the office.  “Gone for the day,” I told Debbie, my administrative assistant.  She winked slyly and said, “Have fun!”  I had already told Debbie about the long anticipated lunch with my high school friends, that was taking place today.  When she asked me how long it had been since I had seen my friends, I told her, “37 years for most of them.”  She told me about her last High school Reunion, “class of 89, we got sooooooo wrecked !” She told me, rolling her eyes up in her head.  There had been 25 people in her graduating class and they, as Debbie had told me in shocking detail, had celebrated two rollicking reunions, 5 years and 10.  Both, according to her, had been marquarita festivals at a local hotel that had resulted in at least three divorces and a couple of marriages.  After these stories, I realized for the first time that my AA was twenty-five years my junior and I suddenly felt very old.

“This is just a friendly lunch”, I reminded her and pushed the “1” button on the elevator. “Sure, I understand…..” she laughed.  I sighed nervously.

I parked my car in front of the restaurant and started looking for familiar faces.  There was a group of about four or five men and women going in ahead of me.  All the men were totally white haired and were moving slowly. One of the women had light blue hair and another was pulling a cylinder of oxygen behind her.  “This must be the right place,” I thought as I followed them. Inside, the elderly group joined still more senior citizens.  A broad smile came across my face and the death grip I had on my beer gut with the few remaining stomach muscles I possessed, relaxed as I started to join this group.  “I look pretty damned good,” I remember thinking as I felt an arm on my shoulder and a voice saying, “Wrong way Wayne, we’re over here!”  I turned and came face to face with John, one of my old schoolmates.  We shook hands as I marveled at his thick, brown hair (absolutely no gray!).  John led me to the other corner and I met three more guys with whom I had graduated.  I immediately attempted to suck the recently released beer gut back in without success.  The gut, using its best Exorcist growl seemed to cackle at me and say, “No way pal, you let me out, and I’m going to stay wayyyy out here and enjoy the party.”  Like wise, two of my three chins who had temporarily been tucked away by the “turtle-neck procedure” dropped in for the festivities as well.

Then, I met the ladies present, all trim, beautifully coiffed and looking a good ten years younger than I.  I sat across the table from Donna and as we made small talk, my eyes, and the bags under them, kept dropping a good 18 inches below eye contact.  I didn’t remember her having THOSE in high school!

The hum of a dozen people in conversation suddenly quieted as a lovely blonde, whom I was sure was the lovely daughter of someone in the group, walked up to our table.  “Hi, I’m Carol,” she said.  The women recovered from their initial shock first, welcomed her and directed Carol to an empty chair next to Donna.  I looked at the guys around at the table; the look was unmistakable, the universal look of appreciation.  The look an auto enthusiast gets when he sees a classic Duesenberg, or that a wine connoisseur gets when he sees a particularly rare vintage wine.  It took them a tad longer to recover. 

Carol took her seat and placed a very large leather tote bag on the floor beside her.  Pleasantries were exchanged, and I found that I couldn’t keep  my eyes off of Carol.  She seemed literally to not have aged a day since high school, 37 years ago.  I glanced down at her leather tote, a faint green florescent light seemed to be coming from it.  I was intrigued…..

 

Chapter 2

Lunch was served and between bites of my salad (I didn’t want to order the chili cheese fries and appear gluttonish – it’s all about image). I kept studying Carol’s face.  I noticed what appeared to be very faint crow’s feet type wrinkles at the corners of her captivating, green eyes.  “Aha!” I thought, “the first tell tale signs of age.”  But as I watched, Carol removed a compact mirror from her large tote bag.  Was it just my imagination or did the mirror faintly glow with the same strange phosphorescence that I had earlier noticed coming from her bag?  Carol, checked her makeup, pursed her lips, and then, she also noticed the tell tale crow’s feet around her eyes.  She looked around as if to see if anyone was watching.  I quickly looked away, my eyes again falling on Donna’s red sweater.  When I looked back, I watched as Carol ran her index finger over the faint crows feet on one side of her head, by her temple, and as I watched, the wrinkles miraculously disappeared!  First on the left side, and then on the right, with just the mere touch of her finger!  I checked my water glass, no, all I was drinking was water with lemon, no tequila, no gin.  Was this a flashback caused by a psychodelic mushroom or some other indiscression of my past?  I didn’t think so.  I watched as Carol replaced the compact.  The green glow again appeared as she opened the tote bag. 

Carol looked across the table at me.  I must have been staring, open mouthed and wide eyed, because she immediately realized that I had witnessed her “miracle make-over.”  She wrote something on a cocktail napkin and handed it to me.  I unfolded the napkin and read:  “We need to talk.  Tonight, 10PM, in the Northwest Classen parking lot, the cafeteria patio circle drive.” 

 

Chapter 3

I checked my watch, 10 o’clock sharp.  I pulled into the circle drive on the south side of the high school cafeteria.  Funny, I hadn’t been in this spot since a sports study hall held in the cafeteria during 6^th hour during my senior year.  Several of us would occasionally make daring escapes from this hour of boredom by jumping over the wall as soon as the role had been taken.   But that was ancient history, I looked around in the dark for a car, but none were around.  I turned off the ignition and the headlights and sat in the eerie darkness.  What a strange request, for me to meet Carol here, in the parking lot of our old high school in the dead of night.  But what wasn’t strange about this whole thing?  Spooky tote bags, miracle makeovers, agelessness.  My curiosity brought me here.  The feeling that there was a story here.  Something that defied conventional logic and understanding.  I had to know more!

Where was she?  Ten after ten, still no sign of her.  I turned my key to the “accessory” position and began listening to a CD.  It was Clapton and BB King.  “The guitar riffs on this disc are incredible,” I thought, tapping the back beat out on the steering wheel.  Suddenly, the music stopped. My Jeep Cherokee began shuddering on its shocks and vibrating wildly. The entire car was bathed in the same bright green phosphorescent light that I had seen in Carol’s bag. I looked out the window and realized that incredibly, my Jeep was twenty feet in the air and rising!  I looked above me and could not believe my eyes…….

 

Chapter 4

Above me a huge circular object, lined with flashing lights was slowly pulling me and my Jeep into an opening in the center of the array of lights.  I watched out the window, frozen in awe as I came closer to the opening in what had to be …..a what? A flying saucer, a UFO, an alien space ship, what the hell was this?  I never believed in these things, at least not until this very minute.

Inside the ship, or whatever….it was totally dark, and suddenly, I felt very sleepy.

When I awoke, (or was I awake?) I was sitting alone in what appeared to be a restaurant booth.  The seat was red vinyl with dozens and dozens of brass head tacks holding the vinyl and its padding to the wood frame.  The table was  rectangular and was made of dark brown formica.  The walls were covered with some sort of yellowed wallpaper and the ceiling was made up of stained and yellowed acoustical tiles. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my head.  When I opened my eyes and looked around the room, it WAS a restaurant!  It was filled with booths just like this one and tables.  There were dozens of teenagers in the restaurant and the place was so smoky that I began to cough and my eyes started to water. There was a juke box against the wall and the song playing was, “Chain Gang” by Sam Cooke.  The teenagers in the restaurant were laughing, talking, smoking, and eating pizza.  The more I looked around, the more I began to realize that something was different about this group of teens.  They were dressed differently.  The clothing, the hairstyles were circa 1963 or 64.  What the hell was happening?

A waitress who looked very familiar came over to me carrying a wonderful looking, and smelling, cheese pizza.  “Here ya’ go Wayne,” she muttered, “medium cheese and a tall coke.” tossing the pizza down on the table in front of me.  I read her nametag;  “Loretta”, then it hit me. “Grumpy Loretta from Ned’s?” I said in wonder.  The dark haired waitress whirled around and said, “Grumpy…?! You’d be grumpy too if you had to spend half your shift waiting on a bunch of foul mouthed teenagers who make huge messes and can’t even spell the word tip !”  She gave me a look that would kill and walked away.  What was happening to me?  I hadn’t seen this grumpy waitress for nearly 40 years!  That was when I noticed my clothes.  I was dressed in wheat jeans,a madras shirt and keds with….no socks.  This must be an incredibly realistic dream, I reasoned.  I wondered what would happen next?  I felt something in my shirt pocket.  Upon investigation, I found it to be a box of Marlboros.  I dropped them on the table as if they were hot.  “Gave those up 7 years ago, ”I thought, “right after my heart attack.”  “What the Hell is going on here?” I asked aloud. Then a cool, soft hand touched my arm.  I looked up and there was Carol.  “May I join you?” she asked………

 

Chapter 5

I noticed that Carol was just as beautiful as she had been at lunch today, but she certainly was dressed differently!  She wore a pep club uniform that consisted of a purple, pleated skirt, a purple sweater with the “Cygnet” emblem in its center, over a white blouse with the collar out over the neck of the sweater, black and white saddle oxfords with white “bobbi socks” and, over her shoulder, the huge, leather tote bag.  Her hair was ratted and heavily sprayed in the “bubble” style of the era with a purple ribbon and bow.  She smiled at me and said, “Well, are you going to let me join you or not?”  I closed my gaping mouth, swallowed, and croaked, dryly, “sure, please have a seat.”

She slid into the booth next to me and grabbed a slice of the pizza.  I watched as she folded the slice of pizza forming a channel, allowing the excess cheddar cheese grease to drip onto the plate before biting into it.  I remembered this as standard procedure before eating Ned’s pizza.  She took a bite and said, “Mmmmmm, I just love Ned’s pizza!”  I watched her eat the pizza and said to her, “Carol, I did too, 30 odd years ago!  They tore this building down more than 10 years ago!”  She just smiled.  “Carol, please tell me what the hell is happening?”  I pleaded. “How can we be sitting in a restaurant that no longer exists?  Is it time travel ?” I asked her.  She looked at me, still chewing the pizza and nonchalantly said, “Time travel is impossible!”   When she finished the bite of pizza, she looked at me.  Her eyes were still impossibly green. Or was it the glow from her tote bag?  “We wanted you to be comfortable with your surroundings so we took a scene from your memory and pyschoprojected it for you.” She explained to me.  “From my memory? I asked, “and who is WE?”  “I’ll explain all of that soon enough,” she told me as she grabbed another slice of pizza.  “Would you prefer another memory environment?” she asked.  “Well, maybe something a little more recent,” I replied.  “Not a problem,” she said and started to snap her fingers.  “Wait!!” I yelled and grabbed a slice of the legendary pizza, “Can I take this with me?”  “Sure,” she said smiling and snapped her fingers.  Total darkness.

I felt groggy, as If I were just waking up from a long nights sleep.  I rubbed my eyes and tried to get a fix on just exactly where I was.  I was outside now, the temperature was warm and the air felt moist and thick.  It was daylight, but the sunlight was muted and I was in shadows.  I was surrounded by green plants, leaves, trees and vines.  I could hear birds singing and other sounds, animals chattering.  Where was I now?!  I looked down and realized how I was dressed.  “Dear God!”, I thought.  I was wearing camouflaged fatigues, jungle boots, an olive green towel was draped around my neck . I was wearing a full field pack.  I had a “booney cap” on my head and a steel pot (helmet) hung from my web belt.  I had an M-16 assault rifle hung over my shoulder.  A hot slice of Ned’s cheese pizza looked very odd in my right hand.  It didn’t take me long to recognize this place.  I was alone in a Vietnamese jungle.  “This,” I thought, “was certainly not a comfortable ….how had she put it?  memory environment ?”  The tense, nervous feeling I remembered from my time in this country 33 years ago was back.  I looked around.  Fiercely aggressive mosquitoes dive bombed me as I wiped sweat from my eyes with the towel. I was just off a foot path about twenty feet to my right.  There was no one in sight. I remembered now the almost constant fear I had experienced in this same jungle all those years ago. Suddenly, I heard someone coming through the bush.  I whirled around in the direction of the sound, dropping the pizza, and brought the M-16 down into a firing position.  I pulled the slide back and released it.  The weapon was locked and loaded.  I heard a muffled voice.  Whoever it was, was coming right towards me.  My finger, instinctively picked up the minute amount of slack in the M-16’s trigger as I aimed the weapon towards the sound of the approaching person or persons…

 

Chapter 6

The rifle’s sight was fixed on the foot path and my left eye burned, and involuntarily closed as warm, salty perspiration ran into it.  Then the person coming up the foot path came into view.  I almost fired, but hesitated just an extra moment to allow clearer identification.  My mind hurriedly processed the data my senses fed it.  The person was dressed in traditional Vietnamese, feminine dress.  The silk dress called an “ai dau.”  It consisted of a white, long sleeved blouse connected to a long skirt, split on both sides from the waist to the ankle length hem.  It was worn over a pair of silk pants.  This particular person wore the conical shaped straw hat that was so common of people in this area, and wore sandals on her feet. The hat prevented me from seeing her face. She appeared to be unarmed, but she seemed to be carrying something, or more accurately, she had something slung over her shoulder.  As she moved closer, I saw that what she was carrying, slung over her shoulder, was a huge leather tote bag, that seemed to be emitting a phosphorescent green light.

As she walked by my position, I reached out and pulled her into the jungle growth with me.  She was startled but her scream was muffled. She was kicking and fighting,  but I had my hand firmly over her mouth.  I didn’t want to alert anyone else who might be nearby.  “It’s me Carol!”  I said quietly to her.  She relaxed somewhat, but stared angrily at me.  I motioned for her to whisper, but she did not.   “Let me guess,” she said sarcastically and far too loudly, “You don’t like this environment either.  Jeez, you’re sure picky,” she remarked, rolling her green eyes.  Before I could answer, the distinctive “clack, clack, clack” sound of AK-47 gunfire erupted and the green plants and vines, twenty feet to our right were torn to shreds.  I pulled Carol to the ground and covered her.  “Carol, can’t we just go back to your ship or whatever it is?” I said to her over the sound of more gunfire.  “No”, she replied, “Your senses wouldn’t be able to comprehend the images and sounds.  They are far too alien for the human consciousness.  You would go mad.”  “I think I’m doing that now,” I said.  Bullets whizzed over our heads.  “Get us the hell outa here!” I yelled.  Carol snapped her fingers.

 

Chapter 7

I was awaking again, groggily, where was I?  I heard bubbles and water sounds.  I felt warm, but wet.  As the world around me slowly started to become clear, the surroundings seemed a little more familiar.  I slowly began to recognize my backyard, my deck and patio, the bubbles, the water.  It was my hot tub!  I was up to my neck in 101 degree water in my own backyard, soaking in my hot tub.  What a relief to be somewhere safe, and in this time frame.  “Is this better?” I heard someone say.  I looked across the tub and there was Carol, also up to her neck in the warm, bubbling water.  “Yes,” I told her, “much better.  What a relief!”   I focused more closely on Carol, just a few feet across the hot tub from me.  Her blonde hair, ageless, lovely face and bare shoulders were visible above the water.  Strangely, below the water, a green, pulsating glow cast an eerie light on both of us.  Carol reached down into the water and pulled up her huge, leather tote bag.  It was completely dry, and even though the top of the tote was open, apparently no water had gotten inside of it.  She sat the tote bag down on the deck beside the hot tub.

It was as I was watching her move the tote bag that I came to realize that I was naked in the hot tub.  Now, It is not at all unusual for me to be naked in my hot tub, that was not my concern.  It was, however, unusual for me to be naked in my hot tub with the ageless beauty who now sat directly across from me, presumably just as naked as was I.   This, in and of itself, was not all that unpleasant a situation, unless one considers the fact that the other person who lives in this house with me, Sharon, my lovely wife of nearly 35 years, might just happen along at any time.  Sharon, long known for her jealous streak, might not completely understand this scenario.  I thought for a moment about just exactly how hard this entire situation might be to explain to her (or to anyone else, for that matter).  Apparently, Carol read the look on my face as I pondered these thoughts.  Suddenly, she stood straight up, water dripping from her stunningly perfect body.  “Don’t tell me that THIS is not a good place to talk!!” Carol said unbelievingly.  “No, this is fine,” I said to her, breathtakingly aware that she was, in fact, every bit as naked as was I.  “I was just a little concerned that my wife might unexpectedly join us.” I stammered, trying desperately not to stare, but not succeeding.  “There are no other life forms in the house,” she told me.  “Good, thank you, that makes me much more comfortable.  Will you tell me now, exactly what’s going on?” I asked.  “And please, if you would, sit back down, so that I can concentrate.  I need to keep some blood in my brain.”  Carol smiled warmly, sat down, and began to tell me her story.

 

Chapter 8

 “I never have understood the reason for the elevated pulse, respirations, and blood pressure you humans seem to experience when you encounter each other in an unclothed state.” Carol said, again standing in the hot tub.  “On our planet, the state of the body, clothed or unclothed, has nothing to do with the mating ritual.”  I watched the water glide down her body.  In spite of the affect her unclothed body was having on my pulse, respirations, and blood pressure, I managed to ask, “Just exactly where is your planet?” As I watched the water bead up and roll down her tanned hills and valleys.  “One of the moons of the planet you call Jupiter.  I was stationed there, at an outpost called St.Dizier, named for one of our early explorers.”  She settled back into the water as she answered my question.  I watched as the tanned, twin mounds slid under the surface like perfectly synchronized swimmers.  I made eye contact with her again  and as my vital signs slowed to a more relaxed pattern, I pondered what she had told me. “How many of you are here?, I asked.  “Planetwide or just in this sector?” she inquired.  “Total,” I answered.  “Less than a thousand, but more transport here each mechwar.  By the end of this mudgwak, we shall be over 5,000 strong here.” She said proudly.  “How long have you, yourself, been here?” I asked.  “Only a mup,” she told me, “But I have learned much in this short time.”

“What happened to the Carol that I knew in high school?” I inquired, as tactfully as I knew how.  “She is on St. Dizier, learning our culture and history.” She told me.  “The exchange program lasts only for one mudgwak, then I will go back into my shell and she will return to hers.  We will each have learned a great deal about each other’s cultures.”  “One of our early explorers to this planet, St. Dizier, started the exchange program.  He based it on something you did here, the American Field Service or something like that.”  She continued, “He just took your idea and expanded on it.”  I was astonished.  “You mean that there is an inter-planetary exchange program?” I asked.  “It is still in its infancy, and it is working wonderfully from our perspective, however….” She paused.  “When your people return, they have trouble remembering all that our scientists teach them.  All they seem to remember are some of the medical experiments we perform and the dissections that we do routinely at the beginning of the exchange period.”

I began to perspire and my heart started to pound.

“In fact, they seem to be incapable of relating to other humans much more than those silly, clinical exams which begin the exchange program.”  I began to edge toward the side of the tub, feeling the urge to run.  “But with each new exchange, we make more progress, and we are learning so much!” she told me coming out of the water again and moving towards me.  I was frozen in fear.

I stood up and tried to run, but I was unable to move.  The being that had once been Carol put two hands on my chest and suddenly, everything turned phosphorescent green.  There was a bright flash of light and then Carol stood looking at a much more youthful Wayne than had stood there seconds earlier.  He was still naked, but 30 pounds lighter, the “zipper” scar on his chest from bypass surgery had disappeared, his hair was black now, the gray was gone. Perhaps the strangest thing of all was the large leather briefcase that he held in his hand that was emitting green light.

“Welcome to Earth, Marppphhhh,” Carol said.  “This is your body for the next mudgwak, take excellent care of it and let nothing happen to it!  Allow no aging, or injury to occur.  And most important!  Never get more than ten feet away from your life support system!” she said, tapping his glowing briefcase.  “I will commander,” Wayne said. “I will take very good care of it.”

 

The End……………….