“The Genie”

Featuring Toni

by Wayne Wallace

 

Sunlight pouring through her east bedroom window awakened Toni from her restful Saturday morning sleep.  She stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom.  After relieving herself, she looked into the mirror.  “Jeeez girl!” she told herself, “You look like crap!”  She splashed some water on her face and shuffled off towards the kitchen.  She poured a cup of coffee from the coffee maker that had started brewing a pot twenty minutes earlier.  Next, she turned on her computer.  She always liked to check the 64 Knights emails to catch up on the latest online gossip.  She typed in her pass word and while waiting for the familiar voice to say, “You’ve got mail.,” she poured some cream into her coffee and opened the cabinet to browse the breakfast cereal shelf.

“How’s it going, Mama?” the tiny voice asked.  Toni jumped, so startled, she spilled hot coffee on her flannel granny gown, burning her left boob.  “Ouch, crap! She yelled, “What the Hell?”  Toni was staring at a tiny little man, maybe six inches tall, standing in front of a box of Wheaties.  He tipped the ball cap, which he wore on his head backward, to Toni and said, “Didn’t mean to scare ya’ Mama.”  Toni stared in disbelief.  “Who and what the hell are you?” she asked him.  “My name is Rollo, and I’m a genie.” The strange little man told her.  “This is where I live,” he said, pointing at an old Dr. Pepper bottle in the cabinet.  “Don’t I have to rub the bottle or something?” Toni asked.  “No baby, that’s another story altogether. If I see a foxy lady whom I believe deserves my help, I just pop up; and here I am.”  Toni stared at the little man and said, “Just how in the hell do you figure you can help me out?”  “Hey, pretty Mama, don’t let my size fool you.  I am one powerful dude.  Didja ever hear about the three wishes?  That’s my thing!  I can produce what you desire, dig?” said the little man.  “Wait a minute,” Toni said to the little dude.  “You mean three wishes like Aladdin?”  The Little man shook his head disbelievingly, “Earth to Toni, are you jivin’ me baby?  Aladdin??!! You know for a chick with such nice boobs, you are sure slow to catch on!” Rollo exclaimed.  Toni looked down at her flannel covered breasts and brought her arm up covering them instinctively.  “Here’s the deal baby.  You just say the word and I will grant you three wishes, anything you want, no price limit.”  Toni took a moment and appeared to think the proposition over.

“Okay, Rollo, I get three wishes, anything I want, right?”  Toni asked the little man.  “That’s It baby!”  he responded.  “Well, what’s in it for you?”  The intelligent and skeptical woman of the world asked, arching one eyebrow.  “Well, there is one little catch.........,” the small man answered.  “What?”, Toni demanded.  “Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I am considerably smaller than most people, and I have needs...... And, well, have you seen any 6” tall women around lately???” He asked her.  “Go on” Toni said.  Rollo continued,  “I make you small for just long enough for you and me to do the horizontal bop together and then I make you big again and you get your three wishes.  That’s the real deal...”   “It’s a hard thing for a man of my capabilities to admit, but,  It’s the only way it seems that I can get laid lately !!!!”  Toni thought about it for a while.  “Okay, I’ll do it, but lets do it back here in my bedroom,” she said, scooping the little dude up and carrying him back to the bed.  “all right, pretty mama," he was saying as he pulled off his tiny clothes, “you made the right choice.  Rollo’s gonna set you free!”  Toni grinned as she yelled, “Here Kitty, Kitty.”  Instantly, her big Siamese cat pounced on the bed and gulped down the screaming and struggling little man.  Toni smiled, went back to the kitchen pulled the dusty Dr. Pepper bottle off the shelf, tossed it into the trash can, and poured another cup of coffee and returned to the latest 64Knight email gossip.